My Diary

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY MISSING RIB 
 

Hi Rib,

I’ve read and heard more than a thousand times about the fact that I have a missing rib. I have always pondered about what this phrase really meant. I have always wondered about what this so called missing rib really looked like. And I have asked myself severally, ‘Do I really have a missing rib?’ But I’m walking perfectly and doing just fine that it doesn’t seem like something is missing in me. (Lolz)

I’m so confused that I really can’t explain if there is indeed a rib missing in me. I wondered ‘is this phrase really true or is it just to emphasize your importance? I also learned of your relevance and the fact that you will contribute a lot to my future and career. I read that you will always be there with me and for me and I wondered if such presence will really be created. Are you for real or are you just a myth?

I also heard that you will leave your original habitat and come cleave forever with me till death do us part. I was also told that once we come together, we will become entwined and become one single soul, mind and body. Is that really possible? How do we become one? Are we going to stay glued together that we will never be separated forever? I really can’t fathom the picture.

Here I am so tiny and little but with huge and mighty ambitions. Here is a person who loves to be adorned, cherished, loved, cared for and pampered. Are you willing to do that to me? I love talking, sharing my dreams and ambitions, will you listen? I have a lot to accomplish, a lot of dreams to be fulfilled, will you let me and will you support me?  

I can go any length to defend you and honour your name in every place. I’m willing to respect you, look up to you, place you above all other persons even my families. I will make you my best friend, my wonderful companion, my brother, my father, my mother and my everything, will you do the same for me?

I love cheerfulness. My joy forms from within and is contagious. I make everyone around me smile. Dear Missing Rib, I want to always be your source of happiness, will you let me? I want to make your heart a place of comfort, a place I can find peace, hope, rest, a place I can draw strength from, will you let me and will you let me be the same to you?

God is the only one I look up to and I call upon in every moment of my life. He is the Supreme Being and the Creator of the whole universe. I love God and I don’t joke with anything that has to do with Him. I worship Him, I pray to Him, I whisper to Him and I communicate with Him. Can we do that together as a single soul in Love and in Unity?  

I am adventurous. I have aspirations, I want to shine and the ability to think farther than the immediate present rushes the adrenaline in my system. Are you like me? Do you have more energy or would you rather let us suppress them? I want to listen.

Will you please allow me to lavish my love and my care upon you? I want to hold you close to me, rest my head on your laps, lean on your shoulder, share a closer bond with you. Will you make me your queen, your confidence, your sweetheart, and your everything?   
I’ve seen and heard of so many instances where Ribs sleep in separate rooms and I have likewise seen where Ribs spend all their nights together in the same room. Please let’s go for the latter. Give me the luxury of sharing the same room and bed with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Will you grant me that?

Show me your world, let me understand you; let me into your heart as I would do to you. Will that happen? I have fears; I have weaknesses as we all know that no one is perfect. I believe you have too. Will you share them with me as I would love to share mine with you? Please let us together deal and handle our fears and weaknesses.

Kids will surely come. I will really love to have just two of them. ‘Asher and Isabella’ Do you want three or four? What names should we give them? Will you allow our children to get used to a godly, lovely and peaceful home? Home with no strive, home with no regrets and home with no differences of whatsoever? A good Christian home, where the word of God is thought and examples are shown. Together we will nurture, train, help them to become godly role models and help them achieve their greatest dreams.

Of course we would argue. We would disagree on some matters. We will have different opinions and views about some issues but it won’t affect us right? We won’t show it to our kids, right? Yes! It won’t change anything between us as it will be settled immediately in the same place it started which will be our bedroom. Is that your thoughts also?     

I’m romantic and I want my Rib to be too. I love to hear lovely and sweet words. I have always dreamt of having my Rib wake me up with a kiss every morning, stare so passionately at me and say ‘Thanks for coming into my life. I’ll always love and cherish you forever’ Please will you do that for me or will it just be a fantasy? I want our children to experience true love first hand from us. Will you let them?

There will surely be thorns and wolves, always trying so hard to come between us and tear us apart out of jealousy but together we shall fight for our Love. They will just keep on trying but will never be successful. Together we will sail to the uttermost height, accomplish our greatest dreams and ambitions together and leave a good, lasting legacy for our offspring.

I’m sure we have not met yet but I do hope you are already on your way to me, preparing for forever with me because there is so much passion to be unleashed, so much love to be shown, so much emotions to be released and so much dreams and wishes to be fulfilled. I’d like to know your plans too, do they tally? There is so much more to share, but I’d like to meet you, look into your eyes and say them directly to you because they are for us alone. Just the two of us. I pray for you every day and I’m sure you do to.

I really can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait to spoil you with so much love and care.

Your Woman.
Ikpefua Joy C.



THE PAINS AND GAINS OF BEING A WOMAN      

Oh please don’t tell me I’m wrong about this. Don’t tell me being a woman only has advantages and no disadvantages. I hope you are not forgetting the fact that I’m also a woman. So I am in a very good position to talk about these issues. First and foremost, I’m going to talk about the disadvantages of being a woman after which I’ll then talk about the wonderful and divine advantages of being a woman. But despite the pains of being a woman, the benefits surpass the pains far better. A woman is a divine creature and who can survive this world without her?

The Pains

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say, “Women don’t have what it takes. People don’t want to see women doing things they don’t think women should do. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.  But luckily for us, this is not difficult.  Men are allowed to have passion and commitment for their work… a woman is allowed that feeling for a man, but not her work.

I remembered when I was growing up and started seeing women older having this monthly blood flow especially the ones attached with excruciating pains, I was scared. Then I was told that every woman must experience this because it only shows that such a woman can have babies. And I thought to myself ‘What the fuck? You mean I’m also going to experience this for long? Seriously, it wasn’t funny when I started seeing mine. Gosh! I hate it then and I was wishing I was a boy. Still don’t really like it now though (Smiles).

Then also comes the issue of saying It’s only a girl that should do all the house chores and cooking's. This really gets me pissed off. It’s not as if I’m lazy because I am not, it’s just that I feel like its cheating. How can I do all the house chores and also cook just because I am a woman? Isn’t it annoying to you too? The guys watch T.Vs, go play football and play with their friends, and you should be indoors because you are a woman. Hardly will a girl tell her parents that she is going to visit a friend. The first question that will be thrown at her immediately is ‘are you done with the chores? Gosh! It’s really so unfair if you ask me. But the most annoying part is that these guys will not even show appreciation for your hard work. They wake up in the morning, food is ready. After playing out with their friends, they come back home shouting they are hungry and start asking if the food isn’t yet ready, and when the food gets ready, they sit like chairman and eats comfortably, go to the kitchen and drop the plates. Some will even leave it on the dining. And then because I am a girl, 

I should clean out the dishes. God help us.

And now that we are growing up into these beautiful angels’ guys will not stop disturbing us. Then we become a targeted victim of rape or being used and dumped. Advances will come from everywhere. Even men old enough to be our father will make advances at us. In schools, lecturers will make advances and if we don’t agree, then we face the issue of failing some courses or facing hard times in school. And finally, when a girl decides to open her heart to a man, she gets her heart played and trampled upon (God will forgive men). 

A woman is very emotional and because of this, she suffers hurts the most. She love the most, care the most, the most committed and what does she get at the end? She get Betrayed. She should be totally submissive and never raised her voice at her man. She is patience and she endures unbearing pain because she wants to keep her relationship. In marriage, woman is the one that has to do a lot of work to keep the marriage. A man can cheat on his woman and be pardoned easily by the society but a woman dare not do that. She will be called all manners of abusive names.

The last but not the least, is the issue of child bearing and nurturing. Look at the stress a woman go through carrying a life in her small stomach for nine months not to talk of the pain and agony she goes through when delivering the baby. Alone, she breast feeds the baby, pour love and care unto it, nurture and cherish the baby with so much tenderness, always the one to attend to the baby even at midnight. Whenever the baby is crying, you will hear the man say ‘go attend to your baby’ and at the end of the day, especially when the child is doing really well you hear the man say ‘how is my child doing’ instead of ‘how is our child doing’. But when the child is not really doing well, all the blame is on the mother. Why must it always be the woman? I can’t stop to wonder!

The Gains

Amidst all the pains of being a woman, I will always be grateful to God for making me a woman. A responsible man will treat a woman with respect and carefulness because women are fragile.

Nature is conceived as female. Think “Mother Nature.”  Even the word nature itself in its original Latin (natura) means birth. Which is to say: to ask the “nature” of something is to ask how it was born, how it relates to the feminine. Literally and metaphorically, women define nature and the world. Man is the one who desires, woman the one who is desired. This is woman’s entire but decisive advantage. Through man’s passions, nature has given man into woman’s hands.

I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they’re the first to be rescued off sinking ships.  God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met. Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.

As ladies, we get free drinks, free dinners, free movies (you get the point right?) lolz. We can hug our friends without wondering if people think we are gay. We can walk in groupies without any negative thoughts (Male groupies are believed to be stalkers). We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. We will never regret piercing our ears. Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.

Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.  (Women are faithful to their words). Men have grown embarrassingly weak, but only through observation. Their resolve can easily be broken by a woman. Their emotions can be easily manipulated by a woman. Their power can be easily taken by a woman. Their pride can be easily stripped by a woman. Their entire life can easily be ruined by a woman. While physically stronger, their manipulative prowess can be wittingly outclassed by a woman. And while their dreams are stronger, the realities of women are stronger. Whilst men may play the game, women know the score. Men know that women are an over-match for them, and therefore they choose the weakest or most ignorant. If they did not think so, they never could be afraid of women knowing as much as themselves.  Hmmm! I hope I’m not pissing someone out there (Probably a guy). #smiles.


THE KIND OF A HOME I CRAVE FOR 

I was in my bedroom one day and so many thoughts ran through my mind but the most prevailing one was the thought on ‘How I want my future home to look like’. I begin to draw and fantasize about a picture in my mind. I want a lovely home. I want a good home. I want a fruitful and growing home. I want a home where my spouse together with our kids is free to talk to each other without any intimidation. I want a home where our kids will prefer to be than any other place.

I want a home where there are no secrets. I long for a home where Love, Commitments, Faithfulness, Godliness, Fruitfulness and Trusts abound, a home free of hatred and regrets, a home where I am free to pour out all my thought and worries to my spouse.

I longed for the kind of home where Peace, Joy, Love, Happiness, is the order of the day. Where my children trust us enough and can approach us to confide in us, seek for our advice and share their worries with us.

Yes! A home that others can imitate. The type of home where there is perfect understanding and acceptance of individual differences. A home that our kids can be proud of. Wonderful home where the fear and love of God is not lacking.

I passionately desire that kind of home where the Bible is loved and taught, a home where God’s will is sought, a home where my spouse is true and strong, a home that is free from the blight of wrong. A home where I the mother, in caring quest, strives to show my kids that God’s way is best, a home where the children are led to know that Christ in His beauty loves them so, and a home where the altar fires burn and glow.

Hmm! So I sighed heavily. Who doesn’t want such a loving home? I then realised a fact.

Good Homes are not just made. They don’t grow from fantasies and they don’t just grow from the ground. They require a lot of hard work, passion, commitments and sacrifices from the two persons (children inclusive) involved. They are made carefully and consciously by two matured and responsible people who made an oath on their wedding day to spend the rest of their lives together in any situation. Two people who have made a resolution in their hearts never to allow their home to be blown away by winds and storms no matter how powerful and threatening and have stayed true to that resolution. Two people who have become entwined together that they see themselves reflected in one another. Two people who are God fearing and have worked very hard to building their home in the standard of God. Two committed souls who want to achieve their goals and build their future together. Two individuals who have made a lot of sacrifices just to keep their marriage.

And then I asked myself, ‘are you ready for this Joy?’ are you ready to go through with the sacrifices of keeping a good home? Are you ready for the challenges?

Of course yes! I’ll do anything to have such a good and lovely home. I will explore any (godly) means possible to see that my dream and wish about the kind of home I crave for come true. 

12 REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE WONDERFUL

      1          Women are better at communicating and connecting with people.  They use language to feel close to people not confront them. They are warm and loving.

2.     Nature is conceived as female. Think “Mother Nature.”  Even the word nature itself in its original Latin (natura) means birth. Which is to say: to ask the “nature” of something is to ask how it was born, how it relates to the feminine. Literally and metaphorically, women define nature and the world.

3.      Women have a better emotional memory.

4.     They can carry other human in their own bodies.

5.     Women are generally smaller than men, requiring less food and smaller clothes, and therefore using up fewer of the world’s limited natural resources.

6.     They can make milk with their nipples. Try asking a man to do that.

7.     Women are the giants’ shoulders that great men have stood upon for generations.  As the old saying goes, behind every successful man is a woman. (But behind every successful woman is there a great man?)

8.      Women are wonderful because their strength is silent; it’s wilful and confident but not overwrought or bulky. They’re tough as nails.

9.       They’ve had to fight (and continue to fight) for equal rights.

10.    Women commit fewer violent crimes than men do.

11.    They can sometimes pull off menswear better than men can.

12.   They live longer         

 

A LETTER TO MY TWEENY....

 This letter is long overdue, and it’s been tumbling around in my mind for a long time now. So I thought the time has finally arrived to put pen into paper and express my feelings to you.

You do so many little things day to day that only ever elevate my opinion of you. You are such a gift in my life and you deserve to know it. So I decided to write you this letter.

I’m not so good with talking about my feelings sometimes, but I’d rather do it than let my thoughts go unsaid. So 1 thought a letter would be the best.

 I love how you encourage the best parts of me. I’m healthier, more driven and more emotionally fulfilled than at any other point in my life and that is in large part because of you.

You see my hidden worth even when others are not seeing it. You always tell me not to give up. Always cheering me up when I feel down and when I feel like I can’t go on again. Sometimes all I need is a chat with you, and I’ll feel refreshed.

Thank you so much for reminding me who I am when I sometimes forget. I’m so grateful to have you as a rock in my life. You ve helped me turn my dreams into reality in so many areas of my life. You are an absolute blessing.

 Wonderful memories I had with you are what I’ll cherish forever. They were the moments when I feel complete, safer and acceptable.  Your heart is so expensive and kind.

I love your drive and ambition and I have endless faith that you will achieve anything you put your mind to. You are so amazingly loyal to those you care about. The depth to which you love others is nothing short of inspiring. I love your massive heart.

You are really so thoughtful of me. Everything you ve ever done for me was undeniably out of your love and care for me and I really noticed it all. Your smile is so captivating and I could get lost in them forever.

I love how considerate you are. You do so many little things for me that you don’t really count but that have only added to my ever unending list of things that I love about you. You are such an amazing person and I’m so thankful that I get to meet you.

You are simply one of the best people I’ve ever known and met. I have endless respect for you and the way that you carry yourself in this world. So thank you for being you.

 I know you might have not been told some really amazing things about you which were what got me attracted to you. Although they are the not so visible things but I guess it can only be noticed by someone who sincerely appreciates the kind of being you are. And because I do, it wasn’t really hard for me to notice them.

Your heart is so filled with love and passion. You hardly keep a grudge against anyone and you rarely fight or quarrel with anyone. It makes me sometimes ask myself ‘Is she an angel?’ When you choose to love someone, you do it wholeheartedly.

I also noticed something amazing about you. You can’t stand it when someone you love is angry about you. You will do everything to appease that person and you have always had your way especially with me.

 I love the way you smile. You smile with so much innocence, love and care that no matter how angry I’m with you, your smile is always cooling of my temper. I love the way you always making me feel whenever we are together. You are always making me feel special and adorable.

I love the way you treat me with respect. Your love and care towards me is something I can never do away with. I wonder if I would have felt the way I feel whenever I’m with you with somebody else. You are one friend that I’d prefer to a million friends.

I’m so looking forward to have more memorable memories with you again. I want to hold your hands more often, lean on your shoulder again, watch movies with you and hug you more and more...

Much love