BECOMING A GOOD FRIEND

Today modern technology allows us to make hundreds, or even thousands of friends from social networks by merely adding their names to our contact lists and when we wish to end these ‘friendships’, we simply delete their names from our contact list. However, true friendships still eludes many. You will probably agree with me that good friends are very important. You may also recognize that there is more to being a friend than simply clicking links on a computer screen or a smart phone.

How can you be a good friend? What does it take to forge a lasting friendship? Read with me as I share with you four principles and practical bible advice to help you be the kind of person others would want as a friend.

1. SHOW THAT YOU REALLY CARE

True friendship involves commitment. In other words, a good friend feels a responsibility towards you, and he really cares about you. Such commitment of course is two-way, and it requires hard work and sacrifice on both sides but the reward is worth the effort. So take your time to ask yourself ‘am I willing to give of myself, my time and my resources for my friend?’ always remember, to have a good friend, you must first be a good friend yourself. In Luke 6:31, 38, Jesus recommends true unselfishness and generosity. Such generosity nurtures good friendships. If you expend yourself on behalf of your friends without expecting anything in return, they will naturally feel drawn to you.

2. BE A GOOD COMMUNICATOR

A true friendship cannot flourish without regular communication. So talk together about the interests you share. Listen to what your friend has to say, and respect his/her opinions. Whenever possible, commend and encourage them. At times, a friend may need advice or even correction, and that may not be always easy to give. However, a loyal friend will have the courage to point out a serious fault and offer tactful guidance. In James 1:19, “Everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger”. Good friends always appreciate a listening ear. So be attentive when a friend wishes to share his/her innermost thoughts and concerns with you. Proverbs 27:6 says ‘The wounds inflicted by a friend are faithful’.

3. HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

The closer we get to a friend, the more likely we are to see his/her flaws. Our friends are not perfect, neither are we. Therefore we should never expect or demand perfection from the people we befriend. Rather it is good to cherish their virtues and to make allowances for mistakes. “We all stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body” (James 3:2). Recognizing this simple truth can help us to be understanding towards our friends. That, in turn will allow us to overlook minor faults and shortcomings that may irritate us. The bible also says, “Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complain against another. But besides all these things, clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union” (Col 3:13, 14).

4. WIDEN YOUR CIRCLE OF FRIENDS

It is true that we need to be selective of the kind of people we make as friends; but that doesn’t mean limiting our choice of friends to those of certain age or upbringing. Taking an interest in people of all ages, cultural backgrounds and nationalists can also enrich our lives. In 2 Corinthians chapter 6 verses 13, the bible encourages us to reach out to people of all kinds.

         To summarize it all, you should note that important view of friendship can add variety to your life, as well as endear you to others. “Making friends with only those who are your age and have the same tastes as you is like wearing a cloth in your favourite colour all the time and no matter how much you like that colour, at some point, you may end up getting bored with it.