The true measure of your
worth includes all the benefits others have gained from your success. It is not
by what you have achieved, but by how much you have contributed to the people
around you and the society at large. A man can also be truly measured in his
height of his ideas, the breath of his sympathy, the depth of his convictions
and the length of his patience. If you really want to see your true measure,
watch how you treats your inferiors not your equals. The book of proverbs 28: 6
said ‘Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is
crooked in his ways’. Do you have integrity enough to disappoint your close
friends and please God? ‘The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge
and controversy’ (Martin Luther King). Sometimes we need to be alone and ask
ourselves some serious and thoughts provoking questions like ‘What do I do when
no one is watching? How many lies have I told to get to where I am today? How
many people have I helped even with the little I have? If I get into trouble,
how many people will stand up for my help? If I contest for any political post,
how many votes will I get? If I’m wrongly accused, who can vouch my innocence?
Etc’
‘The true measure of a man is what he will do if he knew
he would never be caught’ (Lord Kelvin).
The measure of a man
cannot be whether he ever makes mistakes because he would make mistakes. It’s
what he does in response of his mistakes. Also in the companies he makes, his
attitudes to different situations and the character he portrays. If there be
any truer measure of a man by what he does, it is by what he gives. There is
nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility comes from
being superior to your former self. If you really want your life to weigh well
and big on the measuring scale, then you need to start taking some hard
decisions. Start by being a Godly person (a Godly person will portray the
traits of God) followed by being a person of integrity (being honest may not
get you a lot of friends but it will get you the right ones). Then you have to
work on the way you relate with people. (Are you compassionate, kind, loving,
friendly, and merciful?). These things matters a lot because they all add up to
your value and self worth.
We all have some sort
of measuring stick (ways) that we use to determine our value as a human being.
When we feel like we’re measuring up, we feel good about ourselves. But, when
we feel like we’ve fallen short, our self-esteem can crash down. When measuring
yourself worth, never use the following criteria:
1. Who you are surrounded by
There are a few different
ways that people depend on others to give them value. While one
person may think her worth depends on how much praise she receives from others,
someone else may only feel good about herself when she’s in a relationship.
At other times, individuals feel
worthy by surrounding themselves with important people. Rubbing shoulders with
rich celebrities or “movers and shakers,” fuels their self-importance. A busy
social calendar and a lengthy list of personal contacts help them feel
valuable.
Making your self-worth dependent
upon others, however, is like chasing a moving target. You can’t control other
people and you can’t please everyone all the time. If you base your self-worth
entirely upon how others perceive you, you’ll never be able to receive enough
praise or positive reinforcement to feel good about yourself.
2. What you do
A career helps many
people feel valued. Some people are quick to say something like, “I’m the
co-founder of so, so and so Company,” or “I’m a lawyer,” not because it’s what
they do – but because it’s who they are. Their career reinforces to them that
they’re “somebody.”
Basing your self-worth on your
job title is a big risk. A health problem, economic downturn, or unexpected
shift in the job market may interfere with your career and lead to a major
identity crisis. Even a planned retirement could wreak havoc on your self-worth
if your identity is tied to your job title. In the absence of a high profile
career, you won’t be able to feel good about yourself if you’ve always measured
your self-worth by what you do.
3. How Much Money you have
We’ve all met people who measure
their self-worth by the size of their bank accounts. Sometimes people feel
like they just can’t acquire enough wealth to be “valuable enough.” In a
desperate attempt to prove their worth, they create a façade of wealth by going
deeply into debt in hopes a luxury car or beautiful home will help them feel
good about themselves.
While it makes sense to place a
monetary value on goods and services, it doesn’t make sense to use money to
determine your value as a human being. The amount of money you earn or
expensive possessions you own will never be enough to satisfy your need to feel
worthy.
4. What you have achieved
Sometimes people want to be known
solely for their accomplishments. That person who always brags about her latest
business venture may only feel good about herself when she is talking about her
accomplishments. Or that person who just can’t stop beating himself up
about that time that he failed, might struggle to move on
because that one incident completely crushed his self-worth.
While it’s normal for your
accomplishments to make you feel good, basing your entire self-worth on your
achievements is like building your house on an unsteady foundation. You’ll need
to experience repeated success in order to feel good about yourself – and
that’s hard to maintain over the long run. When your
entire self-worth depends on your achievements, you’ll avoid doing things where
you could fail.
5. How you look
While some people measure their
self-worth by the numbers on a scale, others determine their value based
on their ability to attract attention with their appearance. The media certainly fuels
the notion that “you’re only as good as you look.” If you were fortunate enough
to be blessed with good looks, your beauty may serve as an advantage in life.
But, a handsome face or a beautiful body won’t last forever. Wrinkles, a middle-age
spread, gray hair, or a receding hairline can become catastrophic for anyone
whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance.
The way you choose to measure
your worth as a person will serve as a major factor in the choices you make,
the thoughts you have about life, and the way you feel about yourself. Know
what measuring stick you’re using to determine your value and measure your
self-worth based on the factors you can control not the external events in your
life. When you know who you are and you’re pleased with the person you’ve become
you’ll maintain a sense of peace throughout life’s inevitable ups and downs.
Rather than experience major fluctuations in how you feel about yourself based
on your latest success or most recent failure, you’ll believe in yourself
regardless. Measure your self-worth by who you are at your core. Doing so will
help you focus on behaving according to your values, instead of chasing the
things that will temporarily boost your self-esteem.
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