HOW DO YOU MEASURE YOUR SELF WORTH?

The true measure of your worth includes all the benefits others have gained from your success. It is not by what you have achieved, but by how much you have contributed to the people around you and the society at large. A man can also be truly measured in his height of his ideas, the breath of his sympathy, the depth of his convictions and the length of his patience. If you really want to see your true measure, watch how you treats your inferiors not your equals. The book of proverbs 28: 6 said ‘Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways’. Do you have integrity enough to disappoint your close friends and please God? ‘The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy’ (Martin Luther King). Sometimes we need to be alone and ask ourselves some serious and thoughts provoking questions like ‘What do I do when no one is watching? How many lies have I told to get to where I am today? How many people have I helped even with the little I have? If I get into trouble, how many people will stand up for my help? If I contest for any political post, how many votes will I get? If I’m wrongly accused, who can vouch my innocence? Etc’

‘The true measure of a man is what he will do if he knew he would never be caught’ (Lord Kelvin).

The measure of a man cannot be whether he ever makes mistakes because he would make mistakes. It’s what he does in response of his mistakes. Also in the companies he makes, his attitudes to different situations and the character he portrays. If there be any truer measure of a man by what he does, it is by what he gives. There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility comes from being superior to your former self. If you really want your life to weigh well and big on the measuring scale, then you need to start taking some hard decisions. Start by being a Godly person (a Godly person will portray the traits of God) followed by being a person of integrity (being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it will get you the right ones). Then you have to work on the way you relate with people. (Are you compassionate, kind, loving, friendly, and merciful?). These things matters a lot because they all add up to your value and self worth.

We all have some sort of measuring stick (ways) that we use to determine our value as a human being. When we feel like we’re measuring up, we feel good about ourselves. But, when we feel like we’ve fallen short, our self-esteem can crash down. When measuring yourself worth, never use the following criteria:

1. Who you are surrounded by

There are a few different ways that people depend on others to give them value. While one person may think her worth depends on how much praise she receives from others, someone else may only feel good about herself when she’s in a relationship.

At other times, individuals feel worthy by surrounding themselves with important people. Rubbing shoulders with rich celebrities or “movers and shakers,” fuels their self-importance. A busy social calendar and a lengthy list of personal contacts help them feel valuable.

Making your self-worth dependent upon others, however, is like chasing a moving target. You can’t control other people and you can’t please everyone all the time. If you base your self-worth entirely upon how others perceive you, you’ll never be able to receive enough praise or positive reinforcement to feel good about yourself.

2. What you do

A career helps many people feel valued. Some people are quick to say something like, “I’m the co-founder of so, so and so Company,” or “I’m a lawyer,” not because it’s what they do – but because it’s who they are. Their career reinforces to them that they’re “somebody.”

Basing your self-worth on your job title is a big risk. A health problem, economic downturn, or unexpected shift in the job market may interfere with your career and lead to a major identity crisis. Even a planned retirement could wreak havoc on your self-worth if your identity is tied to your job title. In the absence of a high profile career, you won’t be able to feel good about yourself if you’ve always measured your self-worth by what you do.

3. How Much Money you have

We’ve all met people who measure their self-worth by the size of their bank accounts. Sometimes people feel like they just can’t acquire enough wealth to be “valuable enough.” In a desperate attempt to prove their worth, they create a façade of wealth by going deeply into debt in hopes a luxury car or beautiful home will help them feel good about themselves.

While it makes sense to place a monetary value on goods and services, it doesn’t make sense to use money to determine your value as a human being. The amount of money you earn or expensive possessions you own will never be enough to satisfy your need to feel worthy.

4. What you have achieved

Sometimes people want to be known solely for their accomplishments. That person who always brags about her latest business venture may only feel good about herself when she is talking about her accomplishments. Or that person who just can’t stop beating himself up about that time that he failed, might struggle to move on because that one incident completely crushed his self-worth.

While it’s normal for your accomplishments to make you feel good, basing your entire self-worth on your achievements is like building your house on an unsteady foundation. You’ll need to experience repeated success in order to feel good about yourself – and that’s hard to maintain over the long run. When your entire self-worth depends on your achievements, you’ll avoid doing things where you could fail.

5. How you look

While some people measure their self-worth by the numbers on a scale, others determine their value based on their ability to attract attention with their appearance. The media certainly fuels the notion that “you’re only as good as you look.” If you were fortunate enough to be blessed with good looks, your beauty may serve as an advantage in life. But, a handsome face or a beautiful body won’t last forever. Wrinkles, a middle-age spread, gray hair, or a receding hairline can become catastrophic for anyone whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance.

The way you choose to measure your worth as a person will serve as a major factor in the choices you make, the thoughts you have about life, and the way you feel about yourself. Know what measuring stick you’re using to determine your value and measure your self-worth based on the factors you can control not the external events in your life. When you know who you are and you’re pleased with the person you’ve become you’ll maintain a sense of peace throughout life’s inevitable ups and downs. Rather than experience major fluctuations in how you feel about yourself based on your latest success or most recent failure, you’ll believe in yourself regardless. Measure your self-worth by who you are at your core. Doing so will help you focus on behaving according to your values, instead of chasing the things that will temporarily boost your self-esteem.